can't silence my love
love must be sincere
Saturday, July 31, 2010
sweetest thing
1st picture=paulo. the troublemaker. don't let his innocent eyes fool you. this one loved to get into all kinds of things.
2nd picture=luis, the needy one. had an eye infection when i took the photo, but got better as the week progressed. he loved getting his picture taken.
3rd picture= quiteria, the diva. the pig costume was put on during playtime. she is a gem. a leader of sorts, making sure everybody is in their place.
2nd picture=luis, the needy one. had an eye infection when i took the photo, but got better as the week progressed. he loved getting his picture taken.
3rd picture= quiteria, the diva. the pig costume was put on during playtime. she is a gem. a leader of sorts, making sure everybody is in their place.
4th picture=idine, the insisten one. 'COME!' was probably the only english word she knew, but it worked every time.
Friday, July 30, 2010
matthew 19:13-14--mozambique style.
after 2 weeks in the most wonderful place in the world i have returned.
life is not what it was, and it will cease to be a mundane, rote experience. i'm sorry that i wasn't able to keep you all updated. i tried to write a blog but then was forced to unpublish due to electronic malfuntion at the internet cafe in mozambique.
i would give you a summary of what i experienced and saw in mozambique but i know i couldn't do it justice. i will say that what i've learned is very different than what i thought i would learn.
going out of my comfort zone to share jesus and serve others is something i know i was born to do. god has called me to be a missionary and i'm more sure of that now than i have been of anything in my life. i learned a lot about what that really means when i was with pieter and rika at all nations mozambique.
just a quick overview: all nations mozambique is located in matola, mozambique--just outside the capital of maputo. the once portuguese colony is poverty stricken and much of the destitute are the children. pieter and rika boersma head up an orphanage of sorts--2 houses that are full of children who have been abandoned, warring with AIDS and generally left to die. each house has between 10-20 kids all under the age of 6. they are fed, clothed, bathed, and they dare to dream of greater things than cleaning the front porch or begging on the streets.
enter: amy fleming. white. middle-class. grove city college student. no children or husband. loves jesus.
where do the dots connect? jesus. more than worlds apart, i found myself connecting more and more to these kids through the love of jesus. seeing him in each of those children. smiles and tears, laughter and games became the melody to my life for 2 weeks. i only wish it was longer. i went to serve, but really, jesus knew me better than that. i got served. i got served. the 4 year old with AIDS taught me more about life and loving the lord than any pastor, mentor, or friend that i've had. i thought i would help them, pray over them, ask for miracles of healing, and lives to be changed.
i got what i prayed for--but it came differently. i couldn't tell you if what i did for those kids did any of those things, but what they did for me answered all of those things.
Help--i've been looking to be a missionary since i was in high school. how do you do that? where do you go? who needs the most help? what would i do? here's what those kids taught me: "it doesn't matter. you don't need to know. Jesus gives us everything--and more. why wouldn't he give you what you need? why wouldn't he direct your path? would we be at this place if he weren't in control?" check. served.
prayer--"you go crying?" was the phrase i heard a lot on my last day in mozambique. yes, dear ones, i go crying. i prayed that god would work through me, that it wouldn't be about me but about them. and it was. "we cry for you." that was the response i heard after saying i would go crying. i feel as though the little i did--playing, cleaning diapers, singing songs, dancing, taking trips to the clinic, feeding--it didn't matter. it didn't matter what i did, but that i was there. i was present. that was enough. that was service to them. to be still, to listen to the birds, having 4 of them in my lap and looking at pictures of my family. that's where the service was done. but not for them. for me. love is a 2 way street. having 17 kids constantly want to sit in your lap and play bubbles is love to me. me doing it was love to them. but that's not what i thought service was. jesus knew better. check. served.
miracles of healing--i wanted to see kids cured of AIDS, and malaria disappear. those are wonderful things, and jesus heals. but that's not what he wanted me to see. he wanted me to see the daily grind, the miracle of life. the life led by 6 year old Telma with AIDS who jumps, runs, plays, smiles, and moves with ease. she lives. her life is a miracle. the life she lives is my miracle. god healed her of the devastation of living on her own, being by herself, not knowing his goodness. god healed and is healing all of those children--they are the miracle. disease does not define them. jesus does, and death has no place in them. they are the miracle. check. served.
lives changed?--i can't tell you if god working through me changed anybody's life, but i can tell you that those kids changed my life. check. served.
how blessed am i? going to serve, and instead, being served. the lord is working powerfully in that place. mozambique could be characterized as a dark, spiritual warzone, disease ridden and poverty stricken, but a ray of sunshine is growing in the All Nations orphanages in matola. "I'm not afraid for when Jesus comes back. I will go with Him. He is coming back." --Quiteria, 6 years.
Check. Served.
life is not what it was, and it will cease to be a mundane, rote experience. i'm sorry that i wasn't able to keep you all updated. i tried to write a blog but then was forced to unpublish due to electronic malfuntion at the internet cafe in mozambique.
i would give you a summary of what i experienced and saw in mozambique but i know i couldn't do it justice. i will say that what i've learned is very different than what i thought i would learn.
going out of my comfort zone to share jesus and serve others is something i know i was born to do. god has called me to be a missionary and i'm more sure of that now than i have been of anything in my life. i learned a lot about what that really means when i was with pieter and rika at all nations mozambique.
just a quick overview: all nations mozambique is located in matola, mozambique--just outside the capital of maputo. the once portuguese colony is poverty stricken and much of the destitute are the children. pieter and rika boersma head up an orphanage of sorts--2 houses that are full of children who have been abandoned, warring with AIDS and generally left to die. each house has between 10-20 kids all under the age of 6. they are fed, clothed, bathed, and they dare to dream of greater things than cleaning the front porch or begging on the streets.
enter: amy fleming. white. middle-class. grove city college student. no children or husband. loves jesus.
where do the dots connect? jesus. more than worlds apart, i found myself connecting more and more to these kids through the love of jesus. seeing him in each of those children. smiles and tears, laughter and games became the melody to my life for 2 weeks. i only wish it was longer. i went to serve, but really, jesus knew me better than that. i got served. i got served. the 4 year old with AIDS taught me more about life and loving the lord than any pastor, mentor, or friend that i've had. i thought i would help them, pray over them, ask for miracles of healing, and lives to be changed.
i got what i prayed for--but it came differently. i couldn't tell you if what i did for those kids did any of those things, but what they did for me answered all of those things.
Help--i've been looking to be a missionary since i was in high school. how do you do that? where do you go? who needs the most help? what would i do? here's what those kids taught me: "it doesn't matter. you don't need to know. Jesus gives us everything--and more. why wouldn't he give you what you need? why wouldn't he direct your path? would we be at this place if he weren't in control?" check. served.
prayer--"you go crying?" was the phrase i heard a lot on my last day in mozambique. yes, dear ones, i go crying. i prayed that god would work through me, that it wouldn't be about me but about them. and it was. "we cry for you." that was the response i heard after saying i would go crying. i feel as though the little i did--playing, cleaning diapers, singing songs, dancing, taking trips to the clinic, feeding--it didn't matter. it didn't matter what i did, but that i was there. i was present. that was enough. that was service to them. to be still, to listen to the birds, having 4 of them in my lap and looking at pictures of my family. that's where the service was done. but not for them. for me. love is a 2 way street. having 17 kids constantly want to sit in your lap and play bubbles is love to me. me doing it was love to them. but that's not what i thought service was. jesus knew better. check. served.
miracles of healing--i wanted to see kids cured of AIDS, and malaria disappear. those are wonderful things, and jesus heals. but that's not what he wanted me to see. he wanted me to see the daily grind, the miracle of life. the life led by 6 year old Telma with AIDS who jumps, runs, plays, smiles, and moves with ease. she lives. her life is a miracle. the life she lives is my miracle. god healed her of the devastation of living on her own, being by herself, not knowing his goodness. god healed and is healing all of those children--they are the miracle. disease does not define them. jesus does, and death has no place in them. they are the miracle. check. served.
lives changed?--i can't tell you if god working through me changed anybody's life, but i can tell you that those kids changed my life. check. served.
how blessed am i? going to serve, and instead, being served. the lord is working powerfully in that place. mozambique could be characterized as a dark, spiritual warzone, disease ridden and poverty stricken, but a ray of sunshine is growing in the All Nations orphanages in matola. "I'm not afraid for when Jesus comes back. I will go with Him. He is coming back." --Quiteria, 6 years.
Check. Served.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
bon dia em mocambique
bon dia!
i'm here, safe and sound in mozambique! i left on sunday from DC, arrived in Sao Paulo, Brazil on Monday morning. I spent the day in the airport in Brazil. Crazy experience to be all by yourself. God was awesome and I had some sweet Jesus time while I was waiting to fly to South Africa. I've met the nicest people while traveling. I was the first one to the gate at South African Airways--the airline didn't have anyone at their desk to take check boarding passes, but that might have been because i was about 8 hours early for the flight. I didn't get any sleep on the first flight and Sao Paulo's airport is not a good place to try to sleep.
While I was waiting I recognized some English...there were 2 women who were on their way to Kenya. We had a nice chat about what they were going to do (working with orphans for a non-profit, but not religiously affliated). Their boss gave them 80,000 miles each to volunteer for 2 weeks. How awesome is that?! They were nice enough to sit with me and talk about life for a while.
After I got my boarding pass for South Africa (about an hour before the actual flight) I sat with some guys from Angola who talked to me about Africa and life. I got to talk to them about Jesus, it was pretty sweet. They guy from Angola totally picked up on relationship vs. religion and I felt like he was really blessed. His name was Nico.
The flight to South Africa was super long and I didn't get any sleep. I sat next to Fernando--a Brazilian who was the kindest guy EVER. He showed me all kinds of things on the plane and described some differences about the African life vs. the Western life. He even gave me his card if I was ever in Sao Paulo to go and visit him. CRAZY! He prayed for me and everything. God's hands have seriously been on this trip. It's awesome.
I arrived in South Africa on the most beautiful morning--I saw more stars than I could ever have imagined and the sun shining. I can't describe the beauty in Africa. Something that you can't compare to.
The flight to Maputo was very short--only an hour. I met a guy who was an American traveling all over Africa and I also talked to him about Jesus. I prayed for moments like that. It was AWESOME. This was probably one of the first times I told somebody that I want to be the church and not go to church. He was pretty astonished but very accepting of the idea. He told me about how he grew up "hot-boxed" and since then has tried to find his way in other religions but holds his Bible in his backpack because "Jesus, he's a sweet dude." Yeah, that was my awesome flight.
Maputo is unlike anything I've ever seen before. You have huge buildings next to shanty-towns. Kids without shoes and women carrying babies permeate the metropolis. Pieter came to get me at the airport. When we drove to the orphange (which is a little outside the city) I thought I might die before I even got to the orphanage. The driving is like it is in Europe and it's as crazy as it is in Latin America. I probably almost peed my pants like 5 or 6 times.
We finally pulled into the house at mid-day on Tuesday. As we entered the driveway there were 20 kids who crowded the car to see the new visitor. I couldn't even open the door. When I finally got the chance to get out every limb of my body was covered with a hand or an arm. There was no free space. They all wanted a hug or a kiss. BEST GREETING EVERRRR!
Children in Mozambique are ridiculously precious. They have huge hearts but no one seems to want them. I do. They remind me so much of how we are with Jesus. They are the perfect example of open hearts to Christ. Constantly seeking love. I wish you could be here and see them. They are so wonderful and full of love. I think they are giving me more than I'm giving them.
There is much more to be said of Mozambique. The internet cafe only gives me about an hour--and my time is almost up. I will only give a short excerpt of the past couple of days--which have been extremely draining but rewarding.
Tuesday--we had a party for one of the kids who just turned 3. Probably one of the most precious moments of my life. They sang with each other and prayed together and he opened a present (a toy car and a football). We gave all the kids dolls that my mom made and they were overjoyed. It was amazing.
Wednesday--Woke up early and took the 6 year olds to school at 6 am. Told the kids a Jesus story--the one Meredith made me practice in front of the adults at SAMS. They sort of didn't understand even with translation. It's ok. They drew pictures. In the afternoon I went to the clinic with the women to pray for the newborns. They were so small. That was really rough. One of the babies had gone into shock and couldn't breathe. I prayed for him and God was totally healing him...more on that later.
Thursday--
Today I woke up at like 6 to go take 2 busses to the downtown area with 2 of our AIDS kids to get checked up. One of the kids who had just got reinserted into his family (some of the kids come from terrible families and when the family can provide for them they get the kids back but the Boersma's are still responsible for the child's health). This one child, Nichols, was just reinserted and we met him and his mom at the hospital to get checked up. Turns out he has malaria--along with AIDS. He looked awful. Apparently he had started getting a fever last Friday but the parents didn't think it was too big of a deal to take him to the doctor right away. That's how it is here...AIDS isn't seen as a huge deal neither is malaria. This poor kid. Usually you only last like 7-8 days with the Malaria without care...but he has AIDS. I had no idea what was going on until after we had left. I was praying for him silently while we were at the hospital but I'm praying that God will do a miracle. They might come back tonight to talk to Pieter and Rika about reinsertion and how it's going. Unfortunately when these kids get reinserted their health starts to dwindle. No surprise there. Children aren't allowed to have fun or do anything like that. I walked into the hospital and there was an empty playground but tons of kids sitting with moms. They didn't smile, talk, or do anything. They just sat. (an except from an email to my parents)
There's so much more but it's hard to sum up everything. I've seen a lot of fruit, especially with traveling. Prayer is becoming so important in this place. There's always something to pray for and always something to be thankful for. Today, we were offered a ride back to Matola from Maputo by an Indian man who saw that we couldn't get into a taxi. He worked for a Pepsi factory and drove us about 20 mins back to the orphanage. He gave us a package of Pepsi for the kids. Asked if I wanted to be taken around Maputo...we'll have to see about that...but he was such a nice man. The Boersma's (the missionaries) are starting to call me Pepsi now because they said taht it's unheard of for that to happen. In Mozambique you don't get anything for free.
God is awesome and he's totally blessing this place. Pray for us. Pray for Nichols.
Will try to update soon.
i'm here, safe and sound in mozambique! i left on sunday from DC, arrived in Sao Paulo, Brazil on Monday morning. I spent the day in the airport in Brazil. Crazy experience to be all by yourself. God was awesome and I had some sweet Jesus time while I was waiting to fly to South Africa. I've met the nicest people while traveling. I was the first one to the gate at South African Airways--the airline didn't have anyone at their desk to take check boarding passes, but that might have been because i was about 8 hours early for the flight. I didn't get any sleep on the first flight and Sao Paulo's airport is not a good place to try to sleep.
While I was waiting I recognized some English...there were 2 women who were on their way to Kenya. We had a nice chat about what they were going to do (working with orphans for a non-profit, but not religiously affliated). Their boss gave them 80,000 miles each to volunteer for 2 weeks. How awesome is that?! They were nice enough to sit with me and talk about life for a while.
After I got my boarding pass for South Africa (about an hour before the actual flight) I sat with some guys from Angola who talked to me about Africa and life. I got to talk to them about Jesus, it was pretty sweet. They guy from Angola totally picked up on relationship vs. religion and I felt like he was really blessed. His name was Nico.
The flight to South Africa was super long and I didn't get any sleep. I sat next to Fernando--a Brazilian who was the kindest guy EVER. He showed me all kinds of things on the plane and described some differences about the African life vs. the Western life. He even gave me his card if I was ever in Sao Paulo to go and visit him. CRAZY! He prayed for me and everything. God's hands have seriously been on this trip. It's awesome.
I arrived in South Africa on the most beautiful morning--I saw more stars than I could ever have imagined and the sun shining. I can't describe the beauty in Africa. Something that you can't compare to.
The flight to Maputo was very short--only an hour. I met a guy who was an American traveling all over Africa and I also talked to him about Jesus. I prayed for moments like that. It was AWESOME. This was probably one of the first times I told somebody that I want to be the church and not go to church. He was pretty astonished but very accepting of the idea. He told me about how he grew up "hot-boxed" and since then has tried to find his way in other religions but holds his Bible in his backpack because "Jesus, he's a sweet dude." Yeah, that was my awesome flight.
Maputo is unlike anything I've ever seen before. You have huge buildings next to shanty-towns. Kids without shoes and women carrying babies permeate the metropolis. Pieter came to get me at the airport. When we drove to the orphange (which is a little outside the city) I thought I might die before I even got to the orphanage. The driving is like it is in Europe and it's as crazy as it is in Latin America. I probably almost peed my pants like 5 or 6 times.
We finally pulled into the house at mid-day on Tuesday. As we entered the driveway there were 20 kids who crowded the car to see the new visitor. I couldn't even open the door. When I finally got the chance to get out every limb of my body was covered with a hand or an arm. There was no free space. They all wanted a hug or a kiss. BEST GREETING EVERRRR!
Children in Mozambique are ridiculously precious. They have huge hearts but no one seems to want them. I do. They remind me so much of how we are with Jesus. They are the perfect example of open hearts to Christ. Constantly seeking love. I wish you could be here and see them. They are so wonderful and full of love. I think they are giving me more than I'm giving them.
There is much more to be said of Mozambique. The internet cafe only gives me about an hour--and my time is almost up. I will only give a short excerpt of the past couple of days--which have been extremely draining but rewarding.
Tuesday--we had a party for one of the kids who just turned 3. Probably one of the most precious moments of my life. They sang with each other and prayed together and he opened a present (a toy car and a football). We gave all the kids dolls that my mom made and they were overjoyed. It was amazing.
Wednesday--Woke up early and took the 6 year olds to school at 6 am. Told the kids a Jesus story--the one Meredith made me practice in front of the adults at SAMS. They sort of didn't understand even with translation. It's ok. They drew pictures. In the afternoon I went to the clinic with the women to pray for the newborns. They were so small. That was really rough. One of the babies had gone into shock and couldn't breathe. I prayed for him and God was totally healing him...more on that later.
Thursday--
Today I woke up at like 6 to go take 2 busses to the downtown area with 2 of our AIDS kids to get checked up. One of the kids who had just got reinserted into his family (some of the kids come from terrible families and when the family can provide for them they get the kids back but the Boersma's are still responsible for the child's health). This one child, Nichols, was just reinserted and we met him and his mom at the hospital to get checked up. Turns out he has malaria--along with AIDS. He looked awful. Apparently he had started getting a fever last Friday but the parents didn't think it was too big of a deal to take him to the doctor right away. That's how it is here...AIDS isn't seen as a huge deal neither is malaria. This poor kid. Usually you only last like 7-8 days with the Malaria without care...but he has AIDS. I had no idea what was going on until after we had left. I was praying for him silently while we were at the hospital but I'm praying that God will do a miracle. They might come back tonight to talk to Pieter and Rika about reinsertion and how it's going. Unfortunately when these kids get reinserted their health starts to dwindle. No surprise there. Children aren't allowed to have fun or do anything like that. I walked into the hospital and there was an empty playground but tons of kids sitting with moms. They didn't smile, talk, or do anything. They just sat. (an except from an email to my parents)
There's so much more but it's hard to sum up everything. I've seen a lot of fruit, especially with traveling. Prayer is becoming so important in this place. There's always something to pray for and always something to be thankful for. Today, we were offered a ride back to Matola from Maputo by an Indian man who saw that we couldn't get into a taxi. He worked for a Pepsi factory and drove us about 20 mins back to the orphanage. He gave us a package of Pepsi for the kids. Asked if I wanted to be taken around Maputo...we'll have to see about that...but he was such a nice man. The Boersma's (the missionaries) are starting to call me Pepsi now because they said taht it's unheard of for that to happen. In Mozambique you don't get anything for free.
God is awesome and he's totally blessing this place. Pray for us. Pray for Nichols.
Will try to update soon.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
sour patch missionary
Probably one of the most interesting things I'm learning this summer is how mistaken I've been about the world we live in. God has turned everything I've thought I've acquired quite upside down. Revelation has been my song. This week has brought even more of those challenges.
I can remember being a freshman in high school and thinking that the world was a mess, but totally redeemable. I will definitely stick by that statement as a now junior in college, but I will say that the way to that change I'd envisioned is seriously different than what I thought it might be. Our lives are becoming busier and busier. Our fears mount as we begin to understand the severity of the danger our sin has caused.
After a bit of reflection I've noticed that since coming here my eyes have been blown open. I am not the idealistic fifteen year old I used to be. The deeper I've gone down the rabbit hole to find the root of suffering in this generation the more problems I see. What is the solution? The world holds so much potential but we (and I am generalizing) don't seem to be up to the challenge to explore those possibilities. Where has our apostolic mission gone?
We have let the hurricane of fear, doubt, insecurity, money, comfortability and complacency rule us out of the world that God has told us to keep for Him. What are we doing? What are we spending our money on? Who have we let down? I am not fifteen years old. I realize there is much left to learn and that not everything is a one-stop fix-er-upper. You have to build relationship, bathe everything in prayer, and be in constant communion with Jesus. It is not by our will or our power that the world changes but rather by Christ in us.
Are we letting Christ work through us? Are we too afraid to let Him because it might take us farther from what we know? You are not your own. You were bought with a price. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Live the words you read. Follow the Lord. Don't let fear rule you. We are all the idealistic 15 year old. The world holds that potential still. God is sweeping the nations. Why aren't we helping?
Today I was doing a lesson with Meredith on missions and what the world looks like today. The Sour-Patch Missionary.
I will hopefully post something else about this before I leave.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
ambridge youth ignite.
Since my last post I have been quite the busy bee.
I've spent a lot of my time working with the youth of Ambridge, PA, a town just outside of Pittsburgh. Although the town is simple and quaint, with a few urban rustics, the people in it are quite different. Here, childhood and urban scandal mesh with ease. I've spent the last week working at a sports and arts camp called Ambridge Youth Ignite which was started by a couple of JPers 7 years ago.
I worked with kids at a sports camp last year, but my experience was quite different. The kids were dropped off by their parents who would give them lunch, a kiss and a hug and say they would be back at 4 to take them home. Ambridge kids have a little less than that. Some walk a good ways to get to camp (which is on the side of the high school because that was the only place that could be donated for a non-profit) and don't see their parents until late at night. These kids come from unimaginable backgrounds--being tossed from foster home to foster home, watching parents spend more money on drugs than on groceries, and of course growing up without anyone giving a hoot about them. The point of Ambridge Youth Ignite is to allow these kids a safe environment to play in, and to grow with people who love them. The leaders are fully invested; there is no pay for an 8-4 shift and the kids aren't the easiest to work with.
I'm amazed by God's goodness everyday. I will not say that it's been easy or that I've seen too much fruit but God is faithful. I've seen improvement that I didn't think would be possible in 4 days. This week is basketball week. While I'm probably not the most skillful basketball player, I could probably shoot a hoop or two. These kids are amazing, but lack self-respect, self-esteem, and the nurturing relationships that would help these qualities blossom. We stand by, watch, and do our best to give helpful instruction and fun with drills and games. Some kids could care less about the games we plan or the drills we do, but others have started to see that there is a purpose to all of it. I come home everyday completely exhausted from watching and giving piggy-back rides and endless games of Knockout. It's worth it though.
Today as we rotated age groups (we split the 50 kids into age-groups of 6-7, 8-10, 11-13) and the older kids got to my station I decided to try something a little different. Usually we'd play some knockout or 2 on 2, but I figured we'd spice things up a bit. I've typically had a bad track record with the older kids. I butt heads with the older boys especially who give me that "I'm too good for this" attitude. If you know me, you know that I'm not one to back down, nor am I one to take that kind of disrespect. All in all, it has been a challenge for me to see where they're coming from and what kind of a place their attitudes have grown from. Anyway, today, I thought we should try some Steal the Bacon. Thank you Audrey Moore ReCenter and Fairfax County Park Authority for giving me some background in these kinds of games. I was shocked to see that the 16 thirteen-year olds that I had actually liked the game. They played for about 30 mins, which is a lot for them. They got excited and started cheering for their teammates and were engaged. Now, this probably doesn't sound too exciting to you. However, when all you hear is negativity, bad words, and complaints, this game was something even I was excited to play. It was a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dreary place.
God smiled on those kids today. Watching them play showed me how I should be loving them and what God has actually been seeing all along--I just never took the time to look the right way.
Yet again, another life lesson from the eyes of the Beholder. You are wonderful, Father. Thank you for showing me how to love. Send your love in a visible and passionate way to those who have yet to understand what love can really be. They're desperate for a taste.
Pray for Ambridge. Pray for the youth. God is listening. And answering.
I've spent a lot of my time working with the youth of Ambridge, PA, a town just outside of Pittsburgh. Although the town is simple and quaint, with a few urban rustics, the people in it are quite different. Here, childhood and urban scandal mesh with ease. I've spent the last week working at a sports and arts camp called Ambridge Youth Ignite which was started by a couple of JPers 7 years ago.
I worked with kids at a sports camp last year, but my experience was quite different. The kids were dropped off by their parents who would give them lunch, a kiss and a hug and say they would be back at 4 to take them home. Ambridge kids have a little less than that. Some walk a good ways to get to camp (which is on the side of the high school because that was the only place that could be donated for a non-profit) and don't see their parents until late at night. These kids come from unimaginable backgrounds--being tossed from foster home to foster home, watching parents spend more money on drugs than on groceries, and of course growing up without anyone giving a hoot about them. The point of Ambridge Youth Ignite is to allow these kids a safe environment to play in, and to grow with people who love them. The leaders are fully invested; there is no pay for an 8-4 shift and the kids aren't the easiest to work with.
I'm amazed by God's goodness everyday. I will not say that it's been easy or that I've seen too much fruit but God is faithful. I've seen improvement that I didn't think would be possible in 4 days. This week is basketball week. While I'm probably not the most skillful basketball player, I could probably shoot a hoop or two. These kids are amazing, but lack self-respect, self-esteem, and the nurturing relationships that would help these qualities blossom. We stand by, watch, and do our best to give helpful instruction and fun with drills and games. Some kids could care less about the games we plan or the drills we do, but others have started to see that there is a purpose to all of it. I come home everyday completely exhausted from watching and giving piggy-back rides and endless games of Knockout. It's worth it though.
Today as we rotated age groups (we split the 50 kids into age-groups of 6-7, 8-10, 11-13) and the older kids got to my station I decided to try something a little different. Usually we'd play some knockout or 2 on 2, but I figured we'd spice things up a bit. I've typically had a bad track record with the older kids. I butt heads with the older boys especially who give me that "I'm too good for this" attitude. If you know me, you know that I'm not one to back down, nor am I one to take that kind of disrespect. All in all, it has been a challenge for me to see where they're coming from and what kind of a place their attitudes have grown from. Anyway, today, I thought we should try some Steal the Bacon. Thank you Audrey Moore ReCenter and Fairfax County Park Authority for giving me some background in these kinds of games. I was shocked to see that the 16 thirteen-year olds that I had actually liked the game. They played for about 30 mins, which is a lot for them. They got excited and started cheering for their teammates and were engaged. Now, this probably doesn't sound too exciting to you. However, when all you hear is negativity, bad words, and complaints, this game was something even I was excited to play. It was a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dreary place.
God smiled on those kids today. Watching them play showed me how I should be loving them and what God has actually been seeing all along--I just never took the time to look the right way.
Yet again, another life lesson from the eyes of the Beholder. You are wonderful, Father. Thank you for showing me how to love. Send your love in a visible and passionate way to those who have yet to understand what love can really be. They're desperate for a taste.
Pray for Ambridge. Pray for the youth. God is listening. And answering.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
wake up child, it's your time to shine.
blown. blown away.
To be honest, I thought Student CPx was just going to be another 2 week camp; get inspired, and then fall back into complacent normalcy. I can promise you that this is anything but normal. Prophetic evangelism, words of knowledge, healings, love. This is my normal. This is what I walk in. The love of the Father of all creation. The hardest part about blogging is that I'm not to sure how to convey what's going through my head or my heart. There's so much I want to tell everyone.
I want to give you guys some quotations from this morning's teaching by Erik Fish. It was pretty sweet. We did a talk on David and Goliath--a somewhat rote childhood story, but take a gander at these lavish words from a sweet Dad. It's funny, I thought today was Father's Day. A day to honor dads, my earthly and my heavenly father, but what I learned was more of a gift to me from my daddy. Here's what's up:
"Jesus never made a Christian."
"Christianity will tell you there are things you can't do; Jesus tells you that you can."
"Every move of God in history needs someone to relase it; speak, write, or sing."
"God is an artist who paints on a canvas without borders. The first canvas he creatred was a sphere."
"The Lord is into choosing those who have a 'fat chance'."
"Christians go to heaven, but disciples of Jesus change the world."
Probably my favorite of the day:
"If sinners don't like to hang out with you, you might not smell like Jesus."
There's so much I'd like to say, but my words would fall flat. If you want to know, and I mean really know, ask your Heavenly Papa to speak. He is who gives me all that I desire and pray for. He will show you.
I had an amazing night last night, just worshipping Jesus in a car on my way to Duquesne U. These lyrics totally encompass love to me. Thanks Jaeson Ma.
Love--Jaeson Ma
Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is.
But I'm a tell you what true love is.
Love is not what you see in the movies.
It's not the ecstasy, it's not what you see in that scene you know what I mean?
I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice.
Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself.
Love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love.
Love is when you lay down your life for another
Whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister.
It's even laying down your life for your enemies, that's unthinkable, but think about that.
Love is true. Think.
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love.
Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast
It is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
You see, love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres.
Love never fails. Love is everlasting
It's eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time
Love is the only thing that will last when you die
But ask the question why? Do you have love?
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love
There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends
Now are you willing ot lay down your life for your friends?
You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother, your father, or your best friends
But are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you?
I'm going to tell you who did that.
The definition of love is Jesus Christ. He is love.
The nails in his hands, the thorns in his brow
Hanging on a cross for your sin, my sins
That is love.
He died for you and me while we still hated him
That is love.
God is true love, and if you don't know this love
Now is the time to know, perfect love.
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love.
This is my love.
Now, replace love with Jesus. Is your mind blown? Mine is.
To be honest, I thought Student CPx was just going to be another 2 week camp; get inspired, and then fall back into complacent normalcy. I can promise you that this is anything but normal. Prophetic evangelism, words of knowledge, healings, love. This is my normal. This is what I walk in. The love of the Father of all creation. The hardest part about blogging is that I'm not to sure how to convey what's going through my head or my heart. There's so much I want to tell everyone.
I want to give you guys some quotations from this morning's teaching by Erik Fish. It was pretty sweet. We did a talk on David and Goliath--a somewhat rote childhood story, but take a gander at these lavish words from a sweet Dad. It's funny, I thought today was Father's Day. A day to honor dads, my earthly and my heavenly father, but what I learned was more of a gift to me from my daddy. Here's what's up:
"Jesus never made a Christian."
"Christianity will tell you there are things you can't do; Jesus tells you that you can."
"Every move of God in history needs someone to relase it; speak, write, or sing."
"God is an artist who paints on a canvas without borders. The first canvas he creatred was a sphere."
"The Lord is into choosing those who have a 'fat chance'."
"Christians go to heaven, but disciples of Jesus change the world."
Probably my favorite of the day:
"If sinners don't like to hang out with you, you might not smell like Jesus."
There's so much I'd like to say, but my words would fall flat. If you want to know, and I mean really know, ask your Heavenly Papa to speak. He is who gives me all that I desire and pray for. He will show you.
I had an amazing night last night, just worshipping Jesus in a car on my way to Duquesne U. These lyrics totally encompass love to me. Thanks Jaeson Ma.
Love--Jaeson Ma
Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is.
But I'm a tell you what true love is.
Love is not what you see in the movies.
It's not the ecstasy, it's not what you see in that scene you know what I mean?
I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice.
Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself.
Love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love.
Love is when you lay down your life for another
Whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister.
It's even laying down your life for your enemies, that's unthinkable, but think about that.
Love is true. Think.
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love.
Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast
It is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
You see, love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres.
Love never fails. Love is everlasting
It's eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time
Love is the only thing that will last when you die
But ask the question why? Do you have love?
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love
There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends
Now are you willing ot lay down your life for your friends?
You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother, your father, or your best friends
But are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you?
I'm going to tell you who did that.
The definition of love is Jesus Christ. He is love.
The nails in his hands, the thorns in his brow
Hanging on a cross for your sin, my sins
That is love.
He died for you and me while we still hated him
That is love.
God is true love, and if you don't know this love
Now is the time to know, perfect love.
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love.
This is my love.
Now, replace love with Jesus. Is your mind blown? Mine is.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
encounter
Today we went out onto the streets of southside and did a treasure hunt.
Treasure hunt? Yeah, that's right. Our group decided to split into groups of 2 and listen to the Lord and see who he wanted us to pray for. We jotted down some clues--bandana, nose ring, yellow shirt, waterfall, boyfriend, dad. These are just a few of the things that might have popped up. Then, we were sent to the streets. We looked for people who demonstrated these qualities and low and behold, Evan and I found our treasure--or rather, God's treasure. A lady who had on a yellow shirt, blue pants, was dealing with a boyfriend who's dad had died earlier this year. Tomorrow is Father's Day. We showed her that she was our treasure. We prayed some sweet blessings over her. I'm pretty sure she was blessed.
God is awesome. I can't tell you how many crazy things have happened in the course of this week. I've learned how to encounter the Lord, how to listen to Him, how to show His love for others, how to disciple, how to baptize, how to have communion with the most common of things, how to worship. My life has been wrecked.
I've seen the Lord work in crazy powerful ways in other countries, but I'm finally seeing fruit in the good old USA. What a blessing! I'm SO pumped to go back to school and see how our Father will work! Grove City is gonna get W-R-E-C-K-E-D this next year. God's gonna move like crazyyyy! My Dad loves me. He really does. And He REALLY loves you!
God. You are SO GOOOOOOD! I'm ready for the next season. Life couldn't be any better. :)
Treasure hunt? Yeah, that's right. Our group decided to split into groups of 2 and listen to the Lord and see who he wanted us to pray for. We jotted down some clues--bandana, nose ring, yellow shirt, waterfall, boyfriend, dad. These are just a few of the things that might have popped up. Then, we were sent to the streets. We looked for people who demonstrated these qualities and low and behold, Evan and I found our treasure--or rather, God's treasure. A lady who had on a yellow shirt, blue pants, was dealing with a boyfriend who's dad had died earlier this year. Tomorrow is Father's Day. We showed her that she was our treasure. We prayed some sweet blessings over her. I'm pretty sure she was blessed.
God is awesome. I can't tell you how many crazy things have happened in the course of this week. I've learned how to encounter the Lord, how to listen to Him, how to show His love for others, how to disciple, how to baptize, how to have communion with the most common of things, how to worship. My life has been wrecked.
I've seen the Lord work in crazy powerful ways in other countries, but I'm finally seeing fruit in the good old USA. What a blessing! I'm SO pumped to go back to school and see how our Father will work! Grove City is gonna get W-R-E-C-K-E-D this next year. God's gonna move like crazyyyy! My Dad loves me. He really does. And He REALLY loves you!
God. You are SO GOOOOOOD! I'm ready for the next season. Life couldn't be any better. :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
wrecked.
Welcome to StudentCPX Southside, Pittsburgh.
It's hard to sum up the past few days at the Burning Bush HOP in Pittsburgh. Student CPX (Church Planting Experience) is a conference that lasts about 2 weeks and has a goal of making and discipling college students to learn how to have simple churches--a church outside of the normal four wall structure. I haven't been able to blog very much about this experience because of some internet issues, but now that I can, I don't even know where to begin.
I arrived last Thursday to Burning Bush House of Prayer in Southside and was greeted by a group of spirit-filled believers who immediately welcomed me into a community. The experience was something I'm not sure I could explain completely. Imagine walking into a house full of strangers and all of a sudden realizing that they are your brothers and sisters--like for real. Crazy? Yeah, but totally part of what God actually tells us about the body of Christ. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High God. I was welcomed home to a group of the most amazing people everrrrr!
We've done a lot since then, and I'm not sure I could sum up all of it. Let's just say that before this experience I would never have walked out onto a street and asked people about jesus or how they felt about god, or if I could pray for them. I might have thought about it--but I'm not sure I would have had the confidence or boldness to do so.
Since coming here, I've encountered Jesus. I've encountered the real guy. The real heavenly father, who isn't this distant man, but rather, my dad. A guy who would let me step on his feet while we dance through life together. A guy who will stand behind me so that when I fall he's right there to catch me--and most of all, someone who pursues me. A man who loves me. A GOD who loves me. Yeah. My prayer is that everyone sees him, and grows in relationship with him--because let me tell you, my life is SO in need of a guy like this. How did I ever think I could do this without him?
God is sweet. He loves me enough to make all the lights green when I'm late, gives me a body of brothers and sisters who encourage and pray for me, and he sends love in any and every way possible. Picking up the guitar for maybe the 3rd time in my life, and learning chords so quickly I can't process it. I am beyond blessed. This man who loves me despite all my shortcomings. What a guy!
We have been encountering the LIVING Father on the streets of the Southside--from healings, to prophetic ministry during an arts festival, to baptisms in a fountain at the burning bush, to communion with oatmeal. Now, that statement has probably freaked a lot of you out--how can you be friends with God? How can he let you have communion with oatmeal, or baptize people, or how is it even theologically ok for you to do that? My answer is this: God reaches people where they are--what happens if you're in the middle of the desert and you become a Christian, how do you get baptized? Can you go to a church and be immersed if you're in the middle of the desert and you have no water? Can you have communion if your culture doesn't have wine?
Here's what I'm learning--and there is a Biblical basis for all of these things--Jesus is real. He's not confined by our four walls or our boxes. He encounters us in our darkest, deepest places where we think nobody can find us. He showers His love on the unsuspecting. I am proud to call myself a follower, and I'm not afraid of man. I'm going to do what the great commission commanded. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
This is what I was made for. My purpose and destiny is love. God has created me to be a big fish--and I refuse to stay in the small bowl. Welcome to the new normal, kids. This is my Father and He has no restrictions on His love.
Don't misunderstand. I don't come to tear down theology or the church. I grew up there, and by the grace of God I was saved there. I'm talking about the way we reach the lost and how we bring the Kingdom of God. The Holy Spirit is present with us when we accept Jesus. I feel Him even now as I write this. I feel no qualms about what I'm being taught, or how countercultural it is. If we're really honest with ourselves we would recognize it too. Jesus WAS countercultural--he ate with prostitutes and tax collectors. This is who HE IS. So communion with oatmeal, and baptism in a creek doesn't bother me at all. Let's GO!
Profess the Lord God, let the Holy Spirit move through you and among your sphere of influence. Don't be afraid of man. Therefore, GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And you will be blessed.
If you've got some questions, I've got some answers. I'm still learning a lot, but what I've learned I'm grateful for. AMEN.
It's hard to sum up the past few days at the Burning Bush HOP in Pittsburgh. Student CPX (Church Planting Experience) is a conference that lasts about 2 weeks and has a goal of making and discipling college students to learn how to have simple churches--a church outside of the normal four wall structure. I haven't been able to blog very much about this experience because of some internet issues, but now that I can, I don't even know where to begin.
I arrived last Thursday to Burning Bush House of Prayer in Southside and was greeted by a group of spirit-filled believers who immediately welcomed me into a community. The experience was something I'm not sure I could explain completely. Imagine walking into a house full of strangers and all of a sudden realizing that they are your brothers and sisters--like for real. Crazy? Yeah, but totally part of what God actually tells us about the body of Christ. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High God. I was welcomed home to a group of the most amazing people everrrrr!
We've done a lot since then, and I'm not sure I could sum up all of it. Let's just say that before this experience I would never have walked out onto a street and asked people about jesus or how they felt about god, or if I could pray for them. I might have thought about it--but I'm not sure I would have had the confidence or boldness to do so.
Since coming here, I've encountered Jesus. I've encountered the real guy. The real heavenly father, who isn't this distant man, but rather, my dad. A guy who would let me step on his feet while we dance through life together. A guy who will stand behind me so that when I fall he's right there to catch me--and most of all, someone who pursues me. A man who loves me. A GOD who loves me. Yeah. My prayer is that everyone sees him, and grows in relationship with him--because let me tell you, my life is SO in need of a guy like this. How did I ever think I could do this without him?
God is sweet. He loves me enough to make all the lights green when I'm late, gives me a body of brothers and sisters who encourage and pray for me, and he sends love in any and every way possible. Picking up the guitar for maybe the 3rd time in my life, and learning chords so quickly I can't process it. I am beyond blessed. This man who loves me despite all my shortcomings. What a guy!
We have been encountering the LIVING Father on the streets of the Southside--from healings, to prophetic ministry during an arts festival, to baptisms in a fountain at the burning bush, to communion with oatmeal. Now, that statement has probably freaked a lot of you out--how can you be friends with God? How can he let you have communion with oatmeal, or baptize people, or how is it even theologically ok for you to do that? My answer is this: God reaches people where they are--what happens if you're in the middle of the desert and you become a Christian, how do you get baptized? Can you go to a church and be immersed if you're in the middle of the desert and you have no water? Can you have communion if your culture doesn't have wine?
Here's what I'm learning--and there is a Biblical basis for all of these things--Jesus is real. He's not confined by our four walls or our boxes. He encounters us in our darkest, deepest places where we think nobody can find us. He showers His love on the unsuspecting. I am proud to call myself a follower, and I'm not afraid of man. I'm going to do what the great commission commanded. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
This is what I was made for. My purpose and destiny is love. God has created me to be a big fish--and I refuse to stay in the small bowl. Welcome to the new normal, kids. This is my Father and He has no restrictions on His love.
Don't misunderstand. I don't come to tear down theology or the church. I grew up there, and by the grace of God I was saved there. I'm talking about the way we reach the lost and how we bring the Kingdom of God. The Holy Spirit is present with us when we accept Jesus. I feel Him even now as I write this. I feel no qualms about what I'm being taught, or how countercultural it is. If we're really honest with ourselves we would recognize it too. Jesus WAS countercultural--he ate with prostitutes and tax collectors. This is who HE IS. So communion with oatmeal, and baptism in a creek doesn't bother me at all. Let's GO!
Profess the Lord God, let the Holy Spirit move through you and among your sphere of influence. Don't be afraid of man. Therefore, GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And you will be blessed.
If you've got some questions, I've got some answers. I'm still learning a lot, but what I've learned I'm grateful for. AMEN.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
need more info?
After about an hour of reflection on my last post I realized that clarification might be needed. If you don't really understand what I'm talking about, that's ok. If you think I'm crazy and I've been brainwashed--don't worry. Jesus is still my Lord and Savior, He's awesome and does great things. If you want to know more, comment, leave an email address, mailing address, facebook, sonar, you know all normal modes of communication and I will do my best to explain what I'm talking about, what I've learned and where this movement is headed.As for me, I'm not sure where God wants to fit me into this. I know Africa is a continent that's full of Islam. And that's where I'm headed.
If you need more info about Jesus in the Qur'an and if you're interested in attending the conference here's some more info--www.generationsalaam.com
Also, just another little tidbit of info. God knew I'd be geekin' out after learning all this stuff--and wouldn't you know, an Anglican priest happened to be at the table near us. I wrote down an entire page of questions as to the theological legitimacy of the program, the approach that was presented, and generally if he thought this was a good idea. After much explanation and discussion, it was clear. This is where it begins. What we do when we've entered the kingdom is up to God, and that has yet to be established--but this is the beginning.
Apprehension turns to excitement. God is moving. I've been watching the skies. They've been turning blood red. Not a doubt in my mind anymore; there's a storm up ahead.
Hello hurricane. :) You can't silence my love.
allah?
As part of Josiah Project I was to attend a Jesus in the Qur'an seminar.
Pause. What?
Now, I could almost guarantee that most people reading this blog would say that Jesus in the Qur'an has to be an absolute contradiction in terms. That's like saying vegetarians for meat. Boy, was I wrong.
Thursday we finished sailing and hopped in the car to drive from Annapolis to Durham, NC (which is apparently halfway between there and Atlanta? yeah, look it up...) Anyway, we took a pitstop in the horrible DC traffic to visit my family for about half an hour. I loved it. Missed my cat mainly...you know, my family doesn't mean much...KIDDING. I love them. I won't lie, after leaving them I was a little uneasy about this whole Jesus in a Muslim book thing. Like, seriously, what the heck? I thought Muslims hate Christians, and for that matter Jesus. Despite the ensuing apprehensions I took a few naps, listened to some Hillsong and arrived in Durham for the night.
Yesterday, we traveled the rest of the way to Atlanta--stopping in Greenville, SC for lunch with a former JP "graduate". Pause the journey for a paragraph:
Tucker, the JP graduate, is an awesome man of God. Typically a meal doesn't make you an expert on a person. I wouldn't say I'm an expert on Tucker, but let's just say that I could see God working in his life to radically change others. What a testimony. He's working with some middle schoolers in Greenville for his second summer, and it looks like he's already furthering the kingdom. Actually, I know he's furthering the kingdom. I'm pumped for his ministry. Go for God!
We climbed back into the car with stuffed bellies and continued on to Atlanta. The seminar was being held at Grace Church in Snellville...yeah, Snellville. Google it if you don't believe me. Anyway, we arrived. At this point I'd been given a few pointers on the speaker--Jamie. He's incredible; he works in the Middle East spreading the Gospel to Muslims. And I'm like yeah, ok, cool. What does that even mean?
We walk in, and the first story he tells us completely blows my mind. A girl from a tiny Indonesian town, intelligent, but her school system is corrupted and will basically only give good grades to those who can pay for them. Jamie let her "visit" his international school classroom and learn as much as she could. She has no grades. He sent 5 letters to major universities to tell them about this girl--and to make a long story short, this girl gets a 100% scholarship and falls in love with Jesus. Now, in a Muslim culture--that's unheard of. Girls don't even go to school--let alone get a full ride to an American school. Yeah, crazy.
I'll do my best to give details about this conference without freaking anybody out or making any huge theological mistakes.
Basically here's the deal: The problem between Christians and Muslims will not be solved using bombs, bullets and blood. God isn't in the business of destroying. That's the devil's kingdom. God's in the business of loving and transforming.
I know nothing about the Qur'an. There, I admit it. Today, I got my first Qur'an. As I received the book I felt as though I was committing a HUGE sin. Like umm, this is not my book. I don't do this. I don't even want to open this, I don't want to know what this says--this is not truth. I'm sure you probably would react the same way.
You know, as I listened to these speakers--story after story of how they're reaching Muslims, I'm like hey, maybe the way I can reach Muslims is by reading this. Woah. Did I seriously just say that? What?! Pause. Did you ever notice how God does things? How did Joshua conquer Jericho? Strategically, let's think about this for a second. He used the band? Yeah, the band should go first and run around the city blowing their horns like 6 times you know--just because God says so. Umm, what? That's how this city is going to fall? You're nuts.
A HA! Yeah, this seems to be a recurring theme in the Bible. I'm God, and I'm going to BLOW your mind. I'm Jesus, I'm going to feed 5000 people with two fish and some loaves of bread from this little kid.
Now, just hear me out. This is what I'm seeing today. Hey, Amy, here's this book that you know isn't truth, you know isn't of me, you know that 1.57 billion people in world read this and believe it and think it's truth. How 'bout you read it.
What?
Here's the deal. God is unconventional. I'm not saying I'm a Muslim convert--and I'm not saying I'm going to go and convert all the Muslims to Christianity. Frankly, they don't even want to hear that. What they want to hear is that Jesus is the way to Heaven, because, well, that's the good news, right? The way to the Kingdom of Heaven is through Jesus alone. FYI, the Kingdom of Heaven (God) is mentioned over 100x in the New Testament. Christian is mentioned 3x, and Conversion is mentioned 7x. Food for thought.
Flipping through this completely foreign book--I see the name Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.He's mentioned more than 100 times in the Qur'an. What? Did you know Mary, the mother of Jesus is the only woman mentioned in the Qur'an? Yeah, I didn't. Ok, so how do Muslims and Christians talk without converting each other and without killing each other? How is that even doctrinally possible? See, like I said, the amazing thing is that God is unconventional.
The speakers basically use the Qur'an to point to Jesus--that Jesus is the common ground. The Bible is the inerrant, inspired word of God, and the Holy Books in the Islamic tradition include the Qur'an but also the Old and New Testaments. Muhammad specifically tells his followers that if they're good Muslims they will read ALL the Holy Books--the Bible is included. Muslims are coming to faith, and entering the Kingdom of God and getting saved by reading the Bible. Through conversion? No. Through Christians telling them they're infidels, they'll go to hell, they're wrong and Muhammad was a joke? NO. God meets them where they're at. Do you think God created 2 billion people to follow him, and that's all there is? Are you insane? What about the 1.57 billion people who see Jesus as a Messiah, the Mercy of God? Does God have a plan for them? How do they enter the Kingdom? Followers of Jesus meet them where they are, and show them the Kingdom in their own book. This is what the Qur'an says about Jesus. Look, he's in there, let's study the holy books together. Take a look at the Bible.
Is your mind blown yet? Is the hurricane underway? Yeah, it is for me too. Now, to tell you the truth, God spoke to me today. I felt my spirit shift in this morning's session. I won't lie it wasn't a good shift. My view of Muslims hasn't been negative really, but it also hasn't been positive. It's more of an impossible feat. I wanted to contradict every single thing that the speakers said. I wanted to say, if you're Muslim, by definition you can't be a follower of Jesus. That doesn't make sense to me. My heart broke at lunch. I was confused and frustrated. I cried. I want to reach the lost, and I want to share Jesus, but is this right? Are you sure?
Meredith took me out and just said, let's ask God to show you. What does God have to say about this. What are you to discern? God said this to me: Amy. You are so stubborn. I can't even speak, you are arguing before I even open my mouth. I'm giving you the answer. Just listen. SHUT UP. Listen. Light will shine in darkness. Light will shine in darkness. Open your heart, let me clear out the gunk. I will not lead you astray. I will never leave you.
Wow. I was attentive this afternoon. It doesn't mean I completely see every parallel, and I have theological questions about where this all goes once we find our common ground and we all know Jesus is the way. But, wow. How awesome. God is good. All the time. I think I know everything. I think I've got it, I, I, I. Me. Me. Me. Jesus? Jesus? Jesus. What do you think is more important?
"This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righeous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: we know it by the Spirit he gave us."
1 John 3:11-24
Ishmael was Isaac's brother. Ishmael is the father of Islam. Ishmael received the promise of blessing and Isaac received the promsie of the covenant. Isaac is supposed to bless Ishmael with the covenant but Israel didn't share the covenant even though it was for all. However, Ishmael's descendents are uniquely prepared to understand the Gospel becaused they are promised blessing, and they have a common ancestry with Israel. If we really believe what we proclaim, are we loving our brothers and sisters? Are we bringing them to the Kingdom? Will they know us by our love? Do they know us by our love? I pray that God breaks the barriers, and convicts our hearts.
Heavenly Daddy, show us the kingdom. We're lost. Jesus is the way. The only way. I ask for guidance, for peace, for grace, mercy and love to overflow on our people, and on Muslims. I pray for openness for your power and love to FALL. Fall and set our hearts ablaze for the One true God, Jesus Christ. Amen.
P.S. We Are The Sound--The Afters, check it out. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/afters/wearethesound.html
Pause. What?
Now, I could almost guarantee that most people reading this blog would say that Jesus in the Qur'an has to be an absolute contradiction in terms. That's like saying vegetarians for meat. Boy, was I wrong.
Thursday we finished sailing and hopped in the car to drive from Annapolis to Durham, NC (which is apparently halfway between there and Atlanta? yeah, look it up...) Anyway, we took a pitstop in the horrible DC traffic to visit my family for about half an hour. I loved it. Missed my cat mainly...you know, my family doesn't mean much...KIDDING. I love them. I won't lie, after leaving them I was a little uneasy about this whole Jesus in a Muslim book thing. Like, seriously, what the heck? I thought Muslims hate Christians, and for that matter Jesus. Despite the ensuing apprehensions I took a few naps, listened to some Hillsong and arrived in Durham for the night.
Yesterday, we traveled the rest of the way to Atlanta--stopping in Greenville, SC for lunch with a former JP "graduate". Pause the journey for a paragraph:
Tucker, the JP graduate, is an awesome man of God. Typically a meal doesn't make you an expert on a person. I wouldn't say I'm an expert on Tucker, but let's just say that I could see God working in his life to radically change others. What a testimony. He's working with some middle schoolers in Greenville for his second summer, and it looks like he's already furthering the kingdom. Actually, I know he's furthering the kingdom. I'm pumped for his ministry. Go for God!
We climbed back into the car with stuffed bellies and continued on to Atlanta. The seminar was being held at Grace Church in Snellville...yeah, Snellville. Google it if you don't believe me. Anyway, we arrived. At this point I'd been given a few pointers on the speaker--Jamie. He's incredible; he works in the Middle East spreading the Gospel to Muslims. And I'm like yeah, ok, cool. What does that even mean?
We walk in, and the first story he tells us completely blows my mind. A girl from a tiny Indonesian town, intelligent, but her school system is corrupted and will basically only give good grades to those who can pay for them. Jamie let her "visit" his international school classroom and learn as much as she could. She has no grades. He sent 5 letters to major universities to tell them about this girl--and to make a long story short, this girl gets a 100% scholarship and falls in love with Jesus. Now, in a Muslim culture--that's unheard of. Girls don't even go to school--let alone get a full ride to an American school. Yeah, crazy.
I'll do my best to give details about this conference without freaking anybody out or making any huge theological mistakes.
Basically here's the deal: The problem between Christians and Muslims will not be solved using bombs, bullets and blood. God isn't in the business of destroying. That's the devil's kingdom. God's in the business of loving and transforming.
I know nothing about the Qur'an. There, I admit it. Today, I got my first Qur'an. As I received the book I felt as though I was committing a HUGE sin. Like umm, this is not my book. I don't do this. I don't even want to open this, I don't want to know what this says--this is not truth. I'm sure you probably would react the same way.
You know, as I listened to these speakers--story after story of how they're reaching Muslims, I'm like hey, maybe the way I can reach Muslims is by reading this. Woah. Did I seriously just say that? What?! Pause. Did you ever notice how God does things? How did Joshua conquer Jericho? Strategically, let's think about this for a second. He used the band? Yeah, the band should go first and run around the city blowing their horns like 6 times you know--just because God says so. Umm, what? That's how this city is going to fall? You're nuts.
A HA! Yeah, this seems to be a recurring theme in the Bible. I'm God, and I'm going to BLOW your mind. I'm Jesus, I'm going to feed 5000 people with two fish and some loaves of bread from this little kid.
Now, just hear me out. This is what I'm seeing today. Hey, Amy, here's this book that you know isn't truth, you know isn't of me, you know that 1.57 billion people in world read this and believe it and think it's truth. How 'bout you read it.
What?
Here's the deal. God is unconventional. I'm not saying I'm a Muslim convert--and I'm not saying I'm going to go and convert all the Muslims to Christianity. Frankly, they don't even want to hear that. What they want to hear is that Jesus is the way to Heaven, because, well, that's the good news, right? The way to the Kingdom of Heaven is through Jesus alone. FYI, the Kingdom of Heaven (God) is mentioned over 100x in the New Testament. Christian is mentioned 3x, and Conversion is mentioned 7x. Food for thought.
Flipping through this completely foreign book--I see the name Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.He's mentioned more than 100 times in the Qur'an. What? Did you know Mary, the mother of Jesus is the only woman mentioned in the Qur'an? Yeah, I didn't. Ok, so how do Muslims and Christians talk without converting each other and without killing each other? How is that even doctrinally possible? See, like I said, the amazing thing is that God is unconventional.
The speakers basically use the Qur'an to point to Jesus--that Jesus is the common ground. The Bible is the inerrant, inspired word of God, and the Holy Books in the Islamic tradition include the Qur'an but also the Old and New Testaments. Muhammad specifically tells his followers that if they're good Muslims they will read ALL the Holy Books--the Bible is included. Muslims are coming to faith, and entering the Kingdom of God and getting saved by reading the Bible. Through conversion? No. Through Christians telling them they're infidels, they'll go to hell, they're wrong and Muhammad was a joke? NO. God meets them where they're at. Do you think God created 2 billion people to follow him, and that's all there is? Are you insane? What about the 1.57 billion people who see Jesus as a Messiah, the Mercy of God? Does God have a plan for them? How do they enter the Kingdom? Followers of Jesus meet them where they are, and show them the Kingdom in their own book. This is what the Qur'an says about Jesus. Look, he's in there, let's study the holy books together. Take a look at the Bible.
Is your mind blown yet? Is the hurricane underway? Yeah, it is for me too. Now, to tell you the truth, God spoke to me today. I felt my spirit shift in this morning's session. I won't lie it wasn't a good shift. My view of Muslims hasn't been negative really, but it also hasn't been positive. It's more of an impossible feat. I wanted to contradict every single thing that the speakers said. I wanted to say, if you're Muslim, by definition you can't be a follower of Jesus. That doesn't make sense to me. My heart broke at lunch. I was confused and frustrated. I cried. I want to reach the lost, and I want to share Jesus, but is this right? Are you sure?
Meredith took me out and just said, let's ask God to show you. What does God have to say about this. What are you to discern? God said this to me: Amy. You are so stubborn. I can't even speak, you are arguing before I even open my mouth. I'm giving you the answer. Just listen. SHUT UP. Listen. Light will shine in darkness. Light will shine in darkness. Open your heart, let me clear out the gunk. I will not lead you astray. I will never leave you.
Wow. I was attentive this afternoon. It doesn't mean I completely see every parallel, and I have theological questions about where this all goes once we find our common ground and we all know Jesus is the way. But, wow. How awesome. God is good. All the time. I think I know everything. I think I've got it, I, I, I. Me. Me. Me. Jesus? Jesus? Jesus. What do you think is more important?
"This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righeous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: we know it by the Spirit he gave us."
1 John 3:11-24
Ishmael was Isaac's brother. Ishmael is the father of Islam. Ishmael received the promise of blessing and Isaac received the promsie of the covenant. Isaac is supposed to bless Ishmael with the covenant but Israel didn't share the covenant even though it was for all. However, Ishmael's descendents are uniquely prepared to understand the Gospel becaused they are promised blessing, and they have a common ancestry with Israel. If we really believe what we proclaim, are we loving our brothers and sisters? Are we bringing them to the Kingdom? Will they know us by our love? Do they know us by our love? I pray that God breaks the barriers, and convicts our hearts.
Heavenly Daddy, show us the kingdom. We're lost. Jesus is the way. The only way. I ask for guidance, for peace, for grace, mercy and love to overflow on our people, and on Muslims. I pray for openness for your power and love to FALL. Fall and set our hearts ablaze for the One true God, Jesus Christ. Amen.
P.S. We Are The Sound--The Afters, check it out. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/afters/wearethesound.html
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
angry koala.
Welcome to Pittsburgh/Ambridge, Pennslyvania.
Last Saturday my parents and I took the trek up to Pittsburgh with probably almost everything I own in order to move into the Josiah Project house in Ambridge. Suffice to say, after the stress of getting settled and finding our way through the steel city, God was good. The house is awesome :) It's small, and humble--a perfect place for sleeping and eating (which is about the only thing I've done in it so far).
Saturday I was welcomed by the Rock the World guys--Whis and some other kids showed me around the surrounding area and then I was welcomed at a really sweet get-together. A group of us ate some burgers, and celebrated the safe journey, the beginning of summer and the fellowship that God has given us. We worshipped too--that was probably my favorite part. I really felt like part of a body. People I didn't even know were welcoming and enjoyed having me take part in such an intimate worship session. Such a blessing :).
Sunday, I went to St. Phillip's church in Moon. Great people, and I was invited to come sing with their worship band on Saturdays and Sundays :) God is soo goood!
I've been doing some orientation talks, just to get acquainted with ministry life and learning the lay of the land. Super insightful, lots of Jesus--not so much like a classroom talk. I'm not a big fan of lectures, but this is more of a "one-on-one" conversation where the Holy Spirit has begun to move.
Interruption: Just as an aside: I've felt a strong move of the Spirit since I've moved in. Rachel and I (my housemate) have decided that we really want to change one of the rooms into a prayer room. It actually might end up being this huge closet that connects to my room. I think it would be sweet. I have yet to snag photos of Ambridge and the house, but I'll try to take enough pictures in order to give you all a virtual tour. Anyway, the people here really have a heart for the Lord and have discerned what it is He wants. It's refreshing and encouraging.
Sunday is also "home church" day. Basically our house is the location for a bunch of other college-age kids to come and have fellowship on Sunday nights. We do an East African Bible Study (if you want to know how it works/what it is just comment), and some worship. It's pretty cool.
As I've gone through the past couple of days I'm realizing how much Christ has really been absent from my daily life. This internship has already changed how I interact with my Savior. Of course prior to arriving I had daily/weekly devotionals and I go to a Christian school which doesn't hinder my fellowship, but this is different. I'm constantly surrounded and have had an influx of the Lord's love (or at least, I'm more aware of it). I find myself constantly praying even if it's not for food or for someone else, but the other day I was in a grocery store and I looked down the aisle and just ended up praying for the person looking for bread. I'm not sure why. I just silently said a prayer for them. Maybe the next stage is to engage. Crazy, right?
Anyway. Yesterday we watched a Memorial Day parade in the Sewickly area which was great. I love that community. Everyone is so invovled! It was actually more like a throwback to a sort of "I Love Lucy" scene. Yay for 1950s? Also, Mary and Whis continue to bless us with providing brunch and lunch and dinner and all kinds of great fellowship. God is truly working through them to reach the younger generation. (Just an FYI, Whis is the current director for Rock the World and Mary is his wife). Also, Whis, Rachel, Cesiah (another RTW-er), and I traveled to Annapolis, MD for sailing school. We're learning a lot about each other, working as a team and of course about boats.
Last Saturday my parents and I took the trek up to Pittsburgh with probably almost everything I own in order to move into the Josiah Project house in Ambridge. Suffice to say, after the stress of getting settled and finding our way through the steel city, God was good. The house is awesome :) It's small, and humble--a perfect place for sleeping and eating (which is about the only thing I've done in it so far).
Saturday I was welcomed by the Rock the World guys--Whis and some other kids showed me around the surrounding area and then I was welcomed at a really sweet get-together. A group of us ate some burgers, and celebrated the safe journey, the beginning of summer and the fellowship that God has given us. We worshipped too--that was probably my favorite part. I really felt like part of a body. People I didn't even know were welcoming and enjoyed having me take part in such an intimate worship session. Such a blessing :).
Sunday, I went to St. Phillip's church in Moon. Great people, and I was invited to come sing with their worship band on Saturdays and Sundays :) God is soo goood!
I've been doing some orientation talks, just to get acquainted with ministry life and learning the lay of the land. Super insightful, lots of Jesus--not so much like a classroom talk. I'm not a big fan of lectures, but this is more of a "one-on-one" conversation where the Holy Spirit has begun to move.
Interruption: Just as an aside: I've felt a strong move of the Spirit since I've moved in. Rachel and I (my housemate) have decided that we really want to change one of the rooms into a prayer room. It actually might end up being this huge closet that connects to my room. I think it would be sweet. I have yet to snag photos of Ambridge and the house, but I'll try to take enough pictures in order to give you all a virtual tour. Anyway, the people here really have a heart for the Lord and have discerned what it is He wants. It's refreshing and encouraging.
Sunday is also "home church" day. Basically our house is the location for a bunch of other college-age kids to come and have fellowship on Sunday nights. We do an East African Bible Study (if you want to know how it works/what it is just comment), and some worship. It's pretty cool.
As I've gone through the past couple of days I'm realizing how much Christ has really been absent from my daily life. This internship has already changed how I interact with my Savior. Of course prior to arriving I had daily/weekly devotionals and I go to a Christian school which doesn't hinder my fellowship, but this is different. I'm constantly surrounded and have had an influx of the Lord's love (or at least, I'm more aware of it). I find myself constantly praying even if it's not for food or for someone else, but the other day I was in a grocery store and I looked down the aisle and just ended up praying for the person looking for bread. I'm not sure why. I just silently said a prayer for them. Maybe the next stage is to engage. Crazy, right?
Anyway. Yesterday we watched a Memorial Day parade in the Sewickly area which was great. I love that community. Everyone is so invovled! It was actually more like a throwback to a sort of "I Love Lucy" scene. Yay for 1950s? Also, Mary and Whis continue to bless us with providing brunch and lunch and dinner and all kinds of great fellowship. God is truly working through them to reach the younger generation. (Just an FYI, Whis is the current director for Rock the World and Mary is his wife). Also, Whis, Rachel, Cesiah (another RTW-er), and I traveled to Annapolis, MD for sailing school. We're learning a lot about each other, working as a team and of course about boats.
Today was our first sailing adventure. After about 30 mins of a basic explaination of sailing terms and one demonstration of a knot we were off in a sail boat. I was actually sort of shocked that we went out so fast. The weather was gorgeous for the first sail--sun, no clouds, perfect temperature and of course good wind. We learned to tack, and gybe and steer the tiller. I'm not sure that any of those terms mean anything to you but I can tell you that sailing for the first time is both an exhilarating but nerve-racking experience. Even though I'm somewhat proficient in swimming, the thought of capsizing (which I was assured could never happen because whatever was under the boat weighed 310920958230 pounds) freaked me out nonetheless. When we first got going and figured out where the sails were supposed to go in reference to the wind one side of the boat nearly grazed the water. Of course, my first reaction is to stand up, give a little squeal and run to the other side of the boat. Somehow the instructor didn't quite share in my reaction.
Overall though, once we got the hang of it, it was pretty sweet. We spent most of the day on the water. Missed a few thunderstorms and ran into a couple (not on the water of course).
I would have to say that my high point for the week would be that I'm experiencing all of these new things in a different way than I thought possible. My reaction and attitude towards new attractions and some old ones have definitely changed. I'm thankful that God is bringing my heart back to a place of praise and thanksgiving.
Yahweh, holy is Your name.
Your love is strong
I will exalt Your name forever
You always amaze me.
Matthew 18:21-35--God is teaching me how to love those as He loves them, not as how I might find a way around their imperfections to "put up" with them.
God is good, and His plan is perfect. It should amaze us that He has so many different things in mind that all happen at the same time. What a guy!
Overall though, once we got the hang of it, it was pretty sweet. We spent most of the day on the water. Missed a few thunderstorms and ran into a couple (not on the water of course).
I would have to say that my high point for the week would be that I'm experiencing all of these new things in a different way than I thought possible. My reaction and attitude towards new attractions and some old ones have definitely changed. I'm thankful that God is bringing my heart back to a place of praise and thanksgiving.
Yahweh, holy is Your name.
Your love is strong
I will exalt Your name forever
You always amaze me.
Matthew 18:21-35--God is teaching me how to love those as He loves them, not as how I might find a way around their imperfections to "put up" with them.
God is good, and His plan is perfect. It should amaze us that He has so many different things in mind that all happen at the same time. What a guy!
Friday, May 28, 2010
set in motion
12 hours.
Typically, besides the Bible and God himself, the musical talents of others seems to touch my heart quite a lot. A song that I've meditated on for quite a while is one called "My Sweet Escape" by Run Kid Run.
This week has been somewhat trying--what with the excitement of Josiah Project beginning and the craziness that organizing all the details entails. God is good, and I'm learning to be patient and wait on the Lord. I'm so excited for the things He has. Tomorrow I travel to Ambridge, PA to start with Rock the World and the Josiah Project--a journey that God has been planning for a long time.
I find myself sometimes wondering (even though I already know the answer, but somehow can't wrap my mind around the idea) how God knew exactly what I was going to do, or what kind of opportunities He would put in front of me just to see the joy on my face when I understand how amazing His plan really is. Who would have thought that this is where I would be today? I know 4 years ago, as a mere sophomore out of high school, I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do with my life; additionally, I was pretty positive my eyes were DEFINITELY not focused where they are now. I'm amazed.
This life is short, a spec in the dunes of time. But let's be honest, who wouldn't want to spend it the way God planned it? After the past couple of months of learning and leaning on the Lord, I don't know that I could have it any other way. I'm definitely ill-qualified to be the ultimate planner of my own life. Thanks for putting it all together in ways I couldn't fathom, father. You are so wonderful. I live to praise your goodness forever.
Give Him the glory for He is GOOOOOD!
Take a looksie--
this is it, confidence is all i need
this is how you're going to save me from myself
from all that fails
i see you and me and everything in between
and i know i'm wrong but you long to
fuel the fire beneath these tired bones
as i dance this road back to you
a place of sweet escape i fell into
my everything will always sing your glory
progress, i confess is way overdue
i've been caught up in the things that i've held onto
for too long i've been alone
i'm stronger every step i take
back to you
run back to you
a place of sweet escape i fell into
a familiar taste you have made inside this refuge i can't create
all back to you
a place of sweet escape, i fell into your glory, your glory
sing hallelujah, i'll forever sing to lift you up
sing hallelujah, i'll forever sing to lift you up
you are my king
you are my king
matthew: 19:13-15
Typically, besides the Bible and God himself, the musical talents of others seems to touch my heart quite a lot. A song that I've meditated on for quite a while is one called "My Sweet Escape" by Run Kid Run.
This week has been somewhat trying--what with the excitement of Josiah Project beginning and the craziness that organizing all the details entails. God is good, and I'm learning to be patient and wait on the Lord. I'm so excited for the things He has. Tomorrow I travel to Ambridge, PA to start with Rock the World and the Josiah Project--a journey that God has been planning for a long time.
I find myself sometimes wondering (even though I already know the answer, but somehow can't wrap my mind around the idea) how God knew exactly what I was going to do, or what kind of opportunities He would put in front of me just to see the joy on my face when I understand how amazing His plan really is. Who would have thought that this is where I would be today? I know 4 years ago, as a mere sophomore out of high school, I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do with my life; additionally, I was pretty positive my eyes were DEFINITELY not focused where they are now. I'm amazed.
This life is short, a spec in the dunes of time. But let's be honest, who wouldn't want to spend it the way God planned it? After the past couple of months of learning and leaning on the Lord, I don't know that I could have it any other way. I'm definitely ill-qualified to be the ultimate planner of my own life. Thanks for putting it all together in ways I couldn't fathom, father. You are so wonderful. I live to praise your goodness forever.
Give Him the glory for He is GOOOOOD!
Take a looksie--
this is it, confidence is all i need
this is how you're going to save me from myself
from all that fails
i see you and me and everything in between
and i know i'm wrong but you long to
fuel the fire beneath these tired bones
as i dance this road back to you
a place of sweet escape i fell into
my everything will always sing your glory
progress, i confess is way overdue
i've been caught up in the things that i've held onto
for too long i've been alone
i'm stronger every step i take
back to you
run back to you
a place of sweet escape i fell into
a familiar taste you have made inside this refuge i can't create
all back to you
a place of sweet escape, i fell into your glory, your glory
sing hallelujah, i'll forever sing to lift you up
sing hallelujah, i'll forever sing to lift you up
you are my king
you are my king
matthew: 19:13-15
Friday, May 21, 2010
let me be clear
in addition to my first post for the day, let me clarify something.
god doesn't need me. but the greatest thing is that i know he's chosen me to be a part of his divine plan. acts 17:25 "and he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."
i feel blessed beyond all things that the god of heaven and earth has designed me to fit and work in his creation for the glorious victory of his kingdom. wow. even through my selfishness and brokenness, this is what i was designed for. this is what god is giving me. he doesn't need to. he wants to.
i'm floored. hallelujah indeed.
god doesn't need me. but the greatest thing is that i know he's chosen me to be a part of his divine plan. acts 17:25 "and he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."
i feel blessed beyond all things that the god of heaven and earth has designed me to fit and work in his creation for the glorious victory of his kingdom. wow. even through my selfishness and brokenness, this is what i was designed for. this is what god is giving me. he doesn't need to. he wants to.
i'm floored. hallelujah indeed.
honesty check.
[8 days.]
it's easy to say that we fall in love with god. but the truth of the matter is, day to day life seems to hide that for me. only since being home have i realized how truly caught up i am in the busy-ness that occupies so much of my time. what do i even do? shouldn't i be worshipping my creator with every breath i take? i can see how life can become purposeless without a savior or without someone and something to live for.
i'll be the first to admit that college, culture, sports, relationships, and the general splendor of this world has caught me. i've been rooted in a net that has held me at bay. away from my savior and from the awesomeness that he has created and planned for me. the saddest part is that even through the realization of it now i know i'm in the wrong, but i don't feel it. satan has figured out the best way to catch me. i'm so concerned about getting the good grades, being the fastest, playing the part of the 'best' christian, not doing the wrong things, and generally pleasing those around me. through it all--even though some of these things are good, there is clearly a selfish motive. i'm looking to satisfy myself through merit or conquering 'temptations'. but really all that i've done is just tried to keep out of the red. i'm trying to save myself from eternal damnation. is that what i should be doing?
god's grace is awesome. he has saved me through his son. he is wonderful and has given me this life. shouldn't i be over myself? come on, seriously? i'm concerned about how fast i'll go in the next meet, or making a good shot, or getting an A in a class. what is wrong with this picture? i'm doing the bare minimum when it comes to god. he's given and given and given. and i've taken and taken and taken.
this summer isn't about redeeming myself. i don't want it to be. of course i want to redeem my bad behavior that has plagued my relationship with christ, but i don't think that god wants me to work myself up and to grovel. he knows i'm broken and lost. the funny thing is i think he wants me to show that i'm sorry and lost and broken by living out the life he's laid out. i want this summer to be about me doing what god has called me to do. i want this to be about finding the heart of the father. learning to love back. since when have i actually loved? people say a relationship is about giving and taking. who coined that? shouldn't it be about giving? god gives. i give back. i accept with loving arms the gifts he's given--but in doing so, i accept by extending those gifts to others. i'm so angry that i've fallen into the trap.
oh god, your mercies are new every morning. break my heart for you, and show me how to love. show me to step out of my selfishness and my conceit. i want to be lost in your love. i want to love with wreckless abandon. you are the king, not me.
francis chan has written an amazing book, crazy love. i've been slowly going over the saturated pages, realizing that it will take me so much time to dissect what he's saying. he nails my sin on the head. of course, god shows me mercy, and is good. this is what i read today:
"When you are truly in love, you go to great lengths to be with the one you love. You'll drive for hours to be together, even if it's only for a short while. You don't mind staying up late to talk. Walking in the rain is romantic, not annoying. You'll willingly spend a small fortune on the one you're crazy about. When you are apart from each other, it's painful, even miserable. He or she is all you think about; you jump at any chance to be together...The critical question for our generation--and for every generation--is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there? How many of us will read these words and say, 'you know, I just might be okay with that'? if you are as deeply in love with God as you think you are, you know you could never be satisfied in a heaven without Christ."
i pray that my faith and my relationship don't get so low as to want a heaven without a Christ.
wouldn't you know--this was also in my devotionals today:
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachigns are but rules taught by men...Don't you see that whatever enters teh mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." Matthew 15:8-9, 17-19
lord, i seek after you. i seek to love you, and give to you. set my heart ablaze for you and what you want.
it's easy to say that we fall in love with god. but the truth of the matter is, day to day life seems to hide that for me. only since being home have i realized how truly caught up i am in the busy-ness that occupies so much of my time. what do i even do? shouldn't i be worshipping my creator with every breath i take? i can see how life can become purposeless without a savior or without someone and something to live for.
i'll be the first to admit that college, culture, sports, relationships, and the general splendor of this world has caught me. i've been rooted in a net that has held me at bay. away from my savior and from the awesomeness that he has created and planned for me. the saddest part is that even through the realization of it now i know i'm in the wrong, but i don't feel it. satan has figured out the best way to catch me. i'm so concerned about getting the good grades, being the fastest, playing the part of the 'best' christian, not doing the wrong things, and generally pleasing those around me. through it all--even though some of these things are good, there is clearly a selfish motive. i'm looking to satisfy myself through merit or conquering 'temptations'. but really all that i've done is just tried to keep out of the red. i'm trying to save myself from eternal damnation. is that what i should be doing?
god's grace is awesome. he has saved me through his son. he is wonderful and has given me this life. shouldn't i be over myself? come on, seriously? i'm concerned about how fast i'll go in the next meet, or making a good shot, or getting an A in a class. what is wrong with this picture? i'm doing the bare minimum when it comes to god. he's given and given and given. and i've taken and taken and taken.
this summer isn't about redeeming myself. i don't want it to be. of course i want to redeem my bad behavior that has plagued my relationship with christ, but i don't think that god wants me to work myself up and to grovel. he knows i'm broken and lost. the funny thing is i think he wants me to show that i'm sorry and lost and broken by living out the life he's laid out. i want this summer to be about me doing what god has called me to do. i want this to be about finding the heart of the father. learning to love back. since when have i actually loved? people say a relationship is about giving and taking. who coined that? shouldn't it be about giving? god gives. i give back. i accept with loving arms the gifts he's given--but in doing so, i accept by extending those gifts to others. i'm so angry that i've fallen into the trap.
oh god, your mercies are new every morning. break my heart for you, and show me how to love. show me to step out of my selfishness and my conceit. i want to be lost in your love. i want to love with wreckless abandon. you are the king, not me.
francis chan has written an amazing book, crazy love. i've been slowly going over the saturated pages, realizing that it will take me so much time to dissect what he's saying. he nails my sin on the head. of course, god shows me mercy, and is good. this is what i read today:
"When you are truly in love, you go to great lengths to be with the one you love. You'll drive for hours to be together, even if it's only for a short while. You don't mind staying up late to talk. Walking in the rain is romantic, not annoying. You'll willingly spend a small fortune on the one you're crazy about. When you are apart from each other, it's painful, even miserable. He or she is all you think about; you jump at any chance to be together...The critical question for our generation--and for every generation--is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there? How many of us will read these words and say, 'you know, I just might be okay with that'? if you are as deeply in love with God as you think you are, you know you could never be satisfied in a heaven without Christ."
i pray that my faith and my relationship don't get so low as to want a heaven without a Christ.
wouldn't you know--this was also in my devotionals today:
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachigns are but rules taught by men...Don't you see that whatever enters teh mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." Matthew 15:8-9, 17-19
lord, i seek after you. i seek to love you, and give to you. set my heart ablaze for you and what you want.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
hello hurricane
here goes...
this summer i'm diving into a brand new adventure. god has been so good. i've been given the opportunity to learn and to serve in different contexts and atmospheres that will surely shape the life i hope to lead someday. the countdown is on. in 11 days i will be embarking upon all sorts of challenges and blessings from our sweet father. this summer is about learning and trusting the lord. rock the world has given me the chance to work in urban, youth and cross-cultural missions this summer. i'm pumped for every part of it! i'm stepping away from the usual summer experience--a swim coach/summer camp counselor. i won't even be training for next season this summer (which is also a crazy new experience all in itself). i'm on the edge and i'm ready to go!
this is my blog--so you can follow what i'm doing this summer. i would really appreciate your prayers and any financial gifts you can offer me--i'll most likely still be fundraising throughout the summer. you can give online at rock the world's website http://www.rocktheworld.org/, selecting the josiah project as the donation type--be sure to put AF17 in the memo line!
now that the logistics are out of the way, i'd like to share. i've been listening to a lot of switchfoot lately and this song has just hit me hard. this is what i hope to learn this summer--and really, for the rest of my life. i hope this helps you a little too. thanks jon foreman. you're a pretty sweet dude.
i've been watching the skies
they've been turning blood red
not a doubt in my mind anymore
there's a storm up ahead
hello hurricane
you're not enough
hello hurricane
you can't silence my love
i've got doors and windows boarded up
all your dead and fury is not enough
you can't silence my love
everything i have i count as loss
everything i have is stripped away
before i started building i counted up theses costs
there's nothing left for you to take away
hello hurricane
you're not enough
hello hurricane
you can't silence my love
i've got doors and windows boarded up
all your dead and fury is not enough
you can't silence my love
this is the anthem of my soul. that nothing will be able to silence my love for the lord or for his people. this is what i pray that god will show me this summer, and for the rest of my life. how to expect the unexpected attacks and to stand firm. to show that nothing can silence my love--or Christ's love for the lost. this is where we're headed. there's a storm up ahead--will you let it silence your love?
matthew 4:19-22
this summer i'm diving into a brand new adventure. god has been so good. i've been given the opportunity to learn and to serve in different contexts and atmospheres that will surely shape the life i hope to lead someday. the countdown is on. in 11 days i will be embarking upon all sorts of challenges and blessings from our sweet father. this summer is about learning and trusting the lord. rock the world has given me the chance to work in urban, youth and cross-cultural missions this summer. i'm pumped for every part of it! i'm stepping away from the usual summer experience--a swim coach/summer camp counselor. i won't even be training for next season this summer (which is also a crazy new experience all in itself). i'm on the edge and i'm ready to go!
this is my blog--so you can follow what i'm doing this summer. i would really appreciate your prayers and any financial gifts you can offer me--i'll most likely still be fundraising throughout the summer. you can give online at rock the world's website http://www.rocktheworld.org/, selecting the josiah project as the donation type--be sure to put AF17 in the memo line!
now that the logistics are out of the way, i'd like to share. i've been listening to a lot of switchfoot lately and this song has just hit me hard. this is what i hope to learn this summer--and really, for the rest of my life. i hope this helps you a little too. thanks jon foreman. you're a pretty sweet dude.
i've been watching the skies
they've been turning blood red
not a doubt in my mind anymore
there's a storm up ahead
hello hurricane
you're not enough
hello hurricane
you can't silence my love
i've got doors and windows boarded up
all your dead and fury is not enough
you can't silence my love
everything i have i count as loss
everything i have is stripped away
before i started building i counted up theses costs
there's nothing left for you to take away
hello hurricane
you're not enough
hello hurricane
you can't silence my love
i've got doors and windows boarded up
all your dead and fury is not enough
you can't silence my love
this is the anthem of my soul. that nothing will be able to silence my love for the lord or for his people. this is what i pray that god will show me this summer, and for the rest of my life. how to expect the unexpected attacks and to stand firm. to show that nothing can silence my love--or Christ's love for the lost. this is where we're headed. there's a storm up ahead--will you let it silence your love?
matthew 4:19-22
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