Arrived!

The internet goes in and out so this is from the day I arrived. I'm trying to keep a daily journal to update you all, but sometimes i won't get online quick enough to post. Enjoy.

May 25, 2011

Weak Man

I left yesterday for Mozambique from DC at 2 in the afternoon. 3 and a half hours later I was on a plane to Johannesburg. 8 hours to Dakar, Senegal stop for an hour, 8 hours to Johannesburg. I don’t sleep on planes so it was a little rough. Luckily though, my mom had purchased the new book Heaven is For Real. I read through that on the first wave of plane rides.

I found myself stopping every couple of minutes and staring out the window. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again—something you never think you’ll say when you’re 10 years old. Having child-like faith is a great gift. The world has conditioned me to think that when you pray for something it’s conditional on what you’ve done for God lately, not that God will respond based on how much He loves us. Colton Burpo—a 4 year old who saw heaven for only 3 minutes—would pray to God and he would get his prayers answered. “I prayed for a rainbow yesterday. I’m glad it’s here today.” Sometimes I pray for things and they don’t get answered. Does that mean I don’t have a good dad? Of course not, he’s still a Dad. It’s like a kid in a grocery store wanting each candy bar they pass by. I’m sure Dad wants to spoil his kids rotten, but He knows what’s best, and 20 chocolate bars are not the best thing for a little kid. My problem is knowing which things are the candy bars and which things aren’t. But I guess I won’t know that. All in all though, the thing to remember is that God is good. All the time. All the time.

Each thing that we struggle through in life has a purpose. Each let down, each beautiful moment is a gift from God. A let down=a gift. We learn something through it; we become more mature Christians and able to endure further trials for the glory of the kingdom. Daniel wasn’t tossed into the lion’s den without a little persecution first. James says to rejoice in suffering. I don’t think it’s easy but I want to take that challenge.

Yesterday I arrived in Johannesburg at 10:30 AM our time. I went to the ticketing booth to pick-up my boarding pass for the final trek to Mozambique, an hour flight from Johannesburg. As I approached the ticket booth the officer behind the desk informed me that both of my bags were overweight and that I would need to pay the equivalent of 375 rand ($60) which is not what I was expecting at all! In fact, the one thing I’ve been most concerned about the past couple of days is my baggage. I’m carrying a lot of books for the kids at the orphanage among other things and books are not light. My mom and I measured the bags probably 20 times before I left making sure that each was under the limit so that I would avoid this problem. After no sleep, and what seemed like an unanswered prayer, I broke down at the ticket counter and just cried. I had no idea what to do. I have money, but to spend it on something like bags was not an ideal situation especially since both of my bags were under the weight limit in DC. God has a good sense of humor. A nice man behind me in line happened to be a professor at a school in Atlanta and heard the entire ordeal. I turned from the ticket counter with my boarding pass dreading having to meet the attendant at the gate to pay the 375 rand to get onto the plane with both of my checked bags, but the man stopped me. He informed me that he would speak to the attendant because that was not a rule, nor was it something that he’d ever seen before.

I arrived at the gate only to find another nice man who explained the same situation to me. Both guys found the ticketing officer and spoke to him very sternly about trying to trick me into paying money for bags that were supposed to arrive at my final destination—no questions asked. The poor officer came to me at the gate with the baggage tags and explained that he had fixed the weight on the bags so that they would arrive in Maputo with me. He wished me a good flight with a smile and went on his way. The two nice men made sure that I had all of my belongings and offered me everything you could imagine until I got to Mozambique. Praise the Lord!

Finally, after a delayed flight, I arrived at Mozambique’s airport only to have received one of my bags—and it was the one with just books in it. No clothes, no medication, and none of the gifts that I’d brought for the missionaries. Needless to say I was exhausted, cranky, and an emotionally stressed wreck. I got to the baggage office with tears streaming down my face. Trying to remember that one bag had arrived and at least I had that. I had been praying the whole flight for both bags to be there but something told me I wasn’t going to get both. Sure enough, that’s what happened. Poor Rika and a couple of others who had come to collect me at the airport had waited an hour and a half for me. I’m hoping that we can go back to the airport today and that my bag will be there.

Rejoice in suffering. Pray for rainbows and expect them to happen. Ticketing officials, nice men and lost baggage. Rejoice. God has a sense of humor and there’s something to be learned in this moment. Relying on God is a fun thing—you’ll always be cared for and always be surprised. Pray for me and for the Boersmas who are all ill this week. There’s so much to be done too. I love and miss you all already! J

Amy

quench the thirst.

this comes from Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker. Page 134-136. This will blow your mind.

"I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one."--Dag Hammarskjold

'I know you through and through--I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you--even in your wanderings.

I know everyone of your problems. I know your need and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you--not for what you have or haven't done--I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image.

It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, my grace will touch all that needs changing in your life. I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

I know what is in your heart--I know your loneliness and all your hurts--the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations. I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love--how you are thirsting to be loved and cherished. But how often have you thirsted in vain, seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside you with passing pleasures--and ending with even more pain. Do you thirst for love? "Come to Me all you who thrist" (John 7:37). I will staisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine to the point of dying on a cross for you.

I thirst for you. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe my love for you: I thirst for you. I thirst to love and to be loved by you--that is how precious you are to Me. I thirst for you. Come to Me and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds.

If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I thirst for you. Open to Me, come to Me, thirst for Me, give Me your life--and I will prove to you how important you are to My heart.

No matter how far you may wander, no matter how often you forget Me, no matter how many crosses you may bear in this life, there is one thing I want you to remember always, one thing that will never change: I thirst for you--just as you are. You don't need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your belief in My love that will change you. You forget Me, and yet I am seeking you every moment of the day--standing at the door of your heart, and knocking.

Do you find this hard to believe? Then look at the cross; look at My heart that was pierced for you. Have you not understood My cross? Then listen again to the words I spoke there--for they tell you clearly why I endured all this for you: "I thirst" (John 19:28). Yes, I thirst for you--as the rest of the Psalm verse, which I was praying says of Me: "I looked for love, and I found none" (Psalm 69:20).

All your life I have been looking for your love--I have never stopped seeking to love and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before.

Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit: "No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake." Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved. I stand at the door of your heart and knock...Open to Me for I thirst for you.'

wrecked yet?

you are strong and you love me.

sometimes i wonder about why we choose the things we do. why do we live the lives we do? as i reflect on the past year i have to ask myself why i chose certain things over others. why i chose to act certain ways and not others. there's not much i can do about the way i behaved, except learn from it.

confession time: i can honestly say that this year was not what i wanted it to be. as i read over these blog posts i see a girl who was radically changed. god's love was a fire in my heart--a desire to do good and to change the world. the problem was that my desire wasn't focused on the eyes of my father or the one who changed my heart. God can teach us wonderful things and give us wonderful gifts. and he has blessed me abundantly--even in my selfishness. this year was about me. me, me, me. what can i do to get an A, or to be friends with that person? what can i do to place top 8 in our conference. what can i do to lose 30 pounds? what can I do to change the world? answer: nothing. this realization that i am nothing without the power of god is a hard lesson to learn.

i can't blame anybody for the way my year went except myself. i've made some pretty rotten mistakes and gone through some pretty insane trials. swim didn't go the way i wanted, polo didn't go the way i wanted. my friendships suffered, my health really suffered. and yet, in the midst of it all God was there. arms wide open. somehow i thought that i could write a paper or swim a mile or make it through a class all by myself. wrong. here's the deal. we need God. in everything. in picking up a cup of coffee, in falling asleep at night, and in eating breakfast.

i haven't fully learned what it means to let the God of creation take over my life, but i'm captivated at the idea that God wants to do this. in my weakness, Christ is my strength. In my strength, Christ is my humility and the person who keeps me standing. when we're in the moment and everything is great it's hard to remember that we do not stand alone, and that our achievements are a gift and a blessing from a great Dad. i know i certainly forget those things.

i'm reading a book by Heidi Baker called Compelled by Love. this book will change your life. I got it for Christmas but i haven't been able to finish it because it's so powerful. I'm almost done, and each time i read it i'm drawn to tears. i want my life to be a reflection of Christ's love. can you look back on your day today and say that each thing you did, each action you took, each word that came out of your mouth was a reflection of Christ? i failed on that one. but God's grace is awesome and His mercies are new everyday.

this is my challenge: live life as love in action. each action each movement isn't to be made unless it's of God with a willingness to reflect His Son. I know i'm not perfect and I'll make mistakes--but what if we really did this as a body? what if our lives were a constant reflection of Christ? when people see me, my broken and bruised body, my achievements (or lack thereof), and my life, i want them to see Jesus.

christ's love is strong, and he loves us (as jon foreman constantly reminds me). pray that today each action we take would be a reflection of a merciful, beautiful and wonderful God. this broken world needs love. sometimes you may be the only reflection of that love that some see. let's change the world through love in action looking toward Christ.

"The work we do is nothing more that a means of transforming our love for Christ into something concrete. I didn't have to find Jesus. Jesus found me and chose me. A strong vocation is based on being possessed by Christ. He is the Life that I want to live. He is the Light that I want to radiate. He is the Love with which I want to love. He is the Joy that I want to share. He is the Peace that I want to sow. Jesus is everything to me. Without Him, I can do nothing."--Mother Teresa

be possessed by Christ.